We're moving in the right direction; I like the concept.
The Negative: Your strings, beginning at :37 are too loud. Instead of complimenting they overtake. Your Synth Melody is barely audible at times due to the strings. Your percussion just sounds flat for much of this. Try adding an extra deep kick during your main rhythmic parts, or adding extra resonance to your existing pattern: something to add depth.
The Positive: This doesn't sound like your usual rushed-style; there was some thought here. The Tempo was good, and the attempt at combining multiple harmonic lines is noted. The chopped up vocals was surprisingly well done.
All in all though, this was better than most of your other postings thus far. Keep it up.